The Wolf's Howls

http://www.myspace.com/hollyhime

Come see me! Come see me!

Since myspace can't be accessed here in the school's computer lab, I'll post here and copy and paste it to my blog later...

SO Melissa stops to get me on her way back to the "break room" for her lunch and we go and sit down at one of the tables. One of the other girls from up front gets up and goes to the vending machine to get potato chips and they got stuck. She's like "help me shake the machine." lol I can just imagine some customer walking by and seeing three of us girls shaking the vending machine screaming "GIVE IT UP!" and "GIMME MY LUNCH!" lol "Its okay...we work here." =P~ Melissa pushes us back and is like "What do you want?" and mimes like she's busting the glass. I don't think workman's comp covers break room mutany. lol What are we going to write? "IT STOLE MY CHIPS!" lol ah, good times...

My life is changing, I am changing, and I just feel that I need a change in journals. I'm switching over to myspace. I'll come back here and read peeps' journals, but I'm updating over there now. lol come find me!

On Sunday, Eddie Geurrerro Died. He was one of the Best. I will seriously miss him. I was watching Monday night's wrestling, and Shawn Michaels was talking about him, and he said that they were both born again christians. I threw my hands in the air went "YESSSSS!" lol James looked at me with this smile on his face like "yeah. Mmmhmm she's crazy." lol But I'm so happy to hear that. He's in a better place, part of the host of angels watching over me when I pray. Love you, buddy. You were one of the best.

So today I made a complete idiot of myself. I'm not going to play the blame game, and make excuses. It was my own fault. Instead of speaking up and asking how we were going to work the cases into the Dissent, and link them to the Dissent, I just kept my mouth shut and went along with it. Which was stupid anyway, because somehow I ended up kinda being the leader. They kept asking me what to do and how to do this or that...I was just thinking, "you're asking ME? I'm just trying to keep my act together!" So I got bereted for not linking the cases to the Dissent because I was the first one to list the cases and was humiliated in front of the whole class. And I wasn't in my seat, either. We were up facing the rest of the class, so I couldn't hide. Well hopefully I learned my lesson.

As we speak, I'm loading a picture to put on myspace. I want to register to talk to Shane Helms, but I think I may miss him by the time it finishes. Yeah. I missed him. Dangit! ah well. Hopefully there will be other times.

So I've been doing a lot of thinking over the last year. And recently I've been praying about it too. I broke down and cried about it in church. I feel kinda bad, and it was funny too. Joe started talking to Mom and I about a day during the week when he thought about me. He was in Waldenbooks and a girl came in asking about books on Firefighting. She said she wanted to be a firefighter. I told Joe that I was thinking about resigning. And naturally he and my mom wanted to know why, and I was feeling emotional already, and holding that stuff in isn't good because eventually it comes out in bursts if you do that, and I was just like...well, this is me:
I pound my fist on my chair and I said "because I just don't wanna be there anymore!" (I kinda yelled at them, and I feel bad now...) and then I proceed to burst into tears. Nikki came up and hugged me and held me while I cried. She and I had talked about it before church, so she knew what I was going through. I felt embarrassed because I started crying in front of so many people...urgh. Whoever says people look cute when they cry never saw me cry. lol
Okay, this is the funny part. While I burst into tears, Joe (who is a total non-confrontational person and gets nervous when people are paying attention to him) and mom were just stunned silent. And Joe was like "okay, now I feel bad for bringing it up...maybe this needed to come out though." It was just funny, I snorted and laugh/sobbed. yeah...more embarrassment. heh. And he asked my mom if she knew about this, and she didn't. I hadn't talked to anyone but James about it before, and he kept telling me that I shouldn't. I just dread calls. I dread training. The only thing I like about it is that I feel like the guys are my family. I am going to talk to Chief about it, and see if I can just stay on as an ambulance driver. Maybe either take a leave of absence, or just not be on the fire department anymore. I just need to talk to him. I've just...had enough. I'm not angry with anyone. I just...think I need to move on to other things. I've been praying about it, and I haven't been getting a "no", so. I feel kinda relieved now. Like a pressure has been lifted. Now that I've come to a decision. Not all the way, because I still need to talk to Todd, but yeah.
I'm also changing my major. To what yet, I don't know. I just don't think law enforcement is for me. Soooo I'm going to talk to a counselor to see what I can focus on. I feel lost in limbo right now without a major to strive for...But I'm praying about all this, and it feels right. -Aside from me not knowing what the heck to do now.
Some big changes, but I know that as long as God is with me, I'll be alright. He is what remains constant and unchanging in this ever changing world, and I NEED something constant. Because I was thinking about what all this was going to affect, and that "whoa, this is big." But its not major. I will find something to do with my life. Why does time seem to be so short when you're hurried? They shouldn't lie to you when you are in high school and tell you you have plenty of time. Because you don't when you consider the pressure your family puts on you to find a career and become successful and fly on your own.

Well, I'm done yakking. I'm hungry and some chocolates in the other room are calling my name. Ta!

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention...
I'M GOING TO SEE BSB AGAIN IN DECEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

James got tickets for us to see them on December 8th. So I'm driving Me, James, Gaby, and Brent up to see the BSB!!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

Now I just wanna see the WWE and see The Newsboys again!

I've decided I'm going to get a Myspace account. why? Because everyone I know seems to have one these days. Friends at church, old friends and, more importantly-the HURRICANE HAS ONE!!! Plus some christian bands have one too. thats interesting. Its so cool to interact with the people you admire.

So...I don't know whether to be happy or really frustrated...I'm probably more frustrated than happy. I spent ALL this MONEY for blankets for Ginger, and guess what. She doesn't seem to be getting cold anymore. We'll see, but so far everything is fine. Not only did I spend money on blankets, but I spent money to get her stall more convenient for her and bought straw and everything. BLARGH!!!! *sigh*
Well, I'm hungry and I need to get ready for work. I'm tired of school. I don't know what to study for anymore. I'm tired of the sameness of everyday these days. My life seems to have run into a rut. I need to back up and figure out where I'm supposed to go. The thing that seems to bug me the most is I don't want to let my family down.
adieu

Wow. I'm almost done with mom's christmas list. We exchanged lists already. It saves on stress. I've already got her the movie Ghost, and Bought her The Partridge Family Season One like she'd asked. I'm hoping that Laverne and Shirley season two will come out before christmas. I like that show. I never saw it until I bought the first season for mom, and its really cute and funny. She wants that and the Doris Day movie "Send me no flowers". I also want to get her some saddle horn bags. Something she doesn't know she's getting.

I've sketched a little. I'm so proud of myself. I feel like a little kid. lol Mommy, can we put this on the fridge? lol I was just doodling shapes like the book says, and it turned out pretty good for the first time in six years. Well, I doodled a horse at a fire meeting, so I guess I sketched something before this, but now I'm serious. I want to get into it again. Feel proud and accomplished and actually FINISH something. So many things I want to do and feel so free to do them that I'm overwhelmed. So many opportunities, God willing. But I'm not going to post them here, because then I usually don't end up doing them.

Well, I'm off to find art supplies online because walmart let me down. *sigh*

Adieu!

Some things happened...and...stuff...And...I won't say anymore! Mwuhahahahaaaaa! *flapps cape around self* *whoosh into the night*

lol Sorry, just had to poke fun at Eesheekins again. lol =P
heehee hey, I felt left out. lol

Soooooo...Whats been going on lately you ask? Work. School. More Work. Friends. Occasionally there's some sleep in there, and some food. Insert wherever. Its been fun, though. I feel like my life is full. But I always am aware and watching that I don't take on too much. ugh. There's that saying that you can never have too many friends. Well, whoever that was had no sense of time. lol ^_^ There just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day sometimes. GOOD NEWS though-I have tomorrow off! YAY! The last couple weeks on my days off, they asked me to fill shifts. The only day I had off was Sunday, and those usually were full with church and getting things done that weren't done during the week. ACK.

I had yesterday off too. I slept in. hee ^_^ I copied the music cds for the "stockings for the troops", got my hair trimmed and styled, then came home and went for a good long ride. I love my horsie. I haven't gotten to ride her much lately. =( Been so busy, and the darned days are getting shorter. Haven't heard from Derek for a couple weeks. *sigh* The last time we were together, I asked him what he was working so hard for. I don't think he got my question. I ment what was he striving for? He just never gets out and hangs out with friends. Doesn't seem to relax or enjoy himself. He's always so serious. *sigh* He only hangs out with me and sometimes Mike. Rarely with Mike. And if I didn't call him sometimes, he probably wouldn't even go with me. URGH. What a life. Just work work work work and no play at all. I told him he needed a freakin' Hobby. Even if he got a dog that would be great. Go out and walk the dog.
*sigh*
Well, I don't have much else to report. I'm going to go try do some christmas shopping on ebay. Ta everyone!

"God never gives you more than you can handle"

True and false. When you have confidence in God to help you handle things, he will give you what you can handle-with his help. People always try to deal with things on their own. Don't bother God with this, its okay, I can handle it...then later they fall apart because it turns into a juggling act because several things start happening at once.
God CREATED this world and everything in it. He conquered DEATH. He heals the SICK. He fed thousands of people from seven loaves of bread and several fish. And you don't think he can fix your problems??? lol All you have to do is ask.
"Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light."
-Matthew 12:28-30

"Keep on asking, and you will be given what you ask for. Keep on looking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened. For everyone who asks, recieves. Everyone who seeks, finds. And the door is opened to everyone who knocks. You parents--if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Of course not! If you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly father give good gifts to those who ask him."
--Matthew 7:7-11

I always called myself a christian. But I was somewhat wrong. I was saved, but I wasn't growing. I accepted jesus as my savior, but I did nothing with it. Its like I accepted someone as my friend, but then ignored them completely. People love to say what God wants and what God says, but most of them are like I was. They never consulted the Bible for what he truly wants. No one likes someone to make assumptions for them of what they want. If someone asked me if I wanted coffee and what flavor, I would get a little upset if someone who never got to know me answered for me.

"Then he called his disciples and the crowds to come over and listen. "If any of you wants to be my follower," He told them,"You must put aside your selfish ambition, shoulder your cross, and follow me. If you try to keep your life for yourself, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will find true life. And how do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul in the process? Is anything worth more than your soul?""
--Mark 9:34-37

Satan came to Eve as a beautiful creature. He persueids people with finery and THINGS. So when someone seems to have it all, they really don't unless it is given to them by God, and they acknowledge that it was given to them by God, and that all the things they have truly belong to him. The Creator.

I hope that sooths some souls, and gives unrest to those who need rescuing.

I told you I would remember what I was going to say when I wasn't near a computer! lol
I was going to say that a few weeks ago, I asked Terri what I would have to do to become a manager. She kinda gave me this look that said "What took you so long?" and "I knew this would happen, it was only a matter of time." I've had several people at work walk up to me and ask me why I don't become a manager. I don't really want that responsibility, I had told them. Also, I don't plan on making this my career. BUT...this could look good on a resume. And experience is good. The more skills I have, the more diverse I could be. Hmmm. Its still intimidating. I am praying about this.

Also, lol...yesterday I went to see the Eye doctor. The nurse and I went into this room with a machine, and it looked kinda familier. I was like "this isn't the machine that blows you in the eye, is it? lol She laughed, and said "No, we don't have that anymore, our technology has advanced." I was like Oh, thank God. lol So we did that machine, then walked into another room where there was another machine. She asked me some questions, and then she picks up this eye-dropper bottle, and says "okay, now I'm going to put this numbing solution in your eyes." Now my imagination takes over, and I'm thinking:
Nurse: "Okay, there is something so seriously wrong with your eyes, that we need to numb them and perform surgery right here and now."
lol I knew that was stupid, and it was a funny thing to think, so I listened to what exactly she was going to do next...Then she goes on to say "We're going to numb your eyes, and we're going to take this prism, shine a light through it, and touch the prism to your eye." ... 0_0 ...What? Because in MY mind, a prism is like a diamond shape-with a point. SOOO Where's that blowing in your eye machine? Do you have it in like, storage in back or something? Can I sign a waver or something and opt to get blasted in the eye with air instead? Please? Pretty please? And she goes "you won't feel a thing." Yeah, well strangely that doesn't make me feel any better. lol So she puts the solution in my eyes, and tells me not to blink. So now I have the incredible urge to blink. She gave up on the other eye because I kept blinking. I examined the evil machine when she left, and found to my utter embarrassment for thinking such a thing that the "prism" was flat. Duh. Here's MY sign. Within an hour and a half I got my eyes numbed twice (because it wears off fast), They dialated my eyes, then they gave me a reversing solution which later when I told James this story, he thought I said "Chloroform". lol "Yeah, they chloroformed my eyes, and this one fell asleep, but this one was good." Oh we were laughing so hard the managers came and seperated us like children. lol =P

Also earlier we had eaten at Bob Evans for lunch, and as we were leaving, I was smelling the candles, and this one didn't want to open. So instead of putting it back like a smart person, I pulled. The lid popped off, flew out of my hand, and shattered on the floor. I was SO embarrassed. I couldn't say I was sorry enough. Needless to say I won't be eating there for a while. They probably won't even be working there anymore when I go back. heh heh. ^_^;

So I think that is about it...I could swear I have more to say, but...*sigh*
Well, Adieu everyone. Ta, cheerio, and all that Jazz.

I have given them up.
I am in a tireless pursuit of the Lord's heart, and I will not yield. I will not be ashamed. For my body is but a vessel for my immortal soul. Whom I entrust to Him. "What can mere mortals to do me?"

I have been so hungry for knowledge recently. I want to take History classes, and Psychology classes. I want to learn about the world and the people in it. I have also been thirsty for the Word.
I bought myself a sketch book (because I couldn't find my old one. *sigh* and I had it all broken in too...lol) I'm trying to work up the courage to open it and sketch again. I say this because I am so mercilessly critical of my work, that I don't even try anymore. I defeat myself before I try. I said these words last night about a completely unrelated topic, and now they hit me with resonance. DUH. Why don't we ever follow our own good advice? Its like a personal rule, or something. Here's MY sign. Duh.

Last Sunday after church, mom and I went to Matheissan to go riding. She rode Star, and I knew it wouldn't be a good idea, but mom thought she could make it. I kinda thought she could too when we got there, and she seemed energetic, and it was kinda cool out. Well, she got hot. And tired. We stopped to let her rest several times. Meanwhile, in the distance we hear thunder. I didn't realize that the paths were so long until that day. We didn't want Star to overheat and possibly have a heart attack, but we didn't want to get stuck in the storm, either. Well, We got stuck in the thunderstorm. It POURED. We were in the trees, so we didn't get as wet as we could have...I thought it was a great adventure. We stood under the canopy of trees as it poured. I felt like a caravan, or a pioneer in the old western days when people traveled on horseback everywhere. It made you wonder about peoples' lives back in the day.

Yeah, I had something else to write too, but I can't seem to remember it...*sigh*
It will come back to me when there isn't a computer in sight, I'm sure of this. lol
Well, adieu everyone! Good night, and God Bless!

I forgot to announce the good news! I PASSED THE HAZMAT TEST!!!! I'm firefighter 2 certified now!! Oh thank GOD. I think that was my third time taking that test...it was starting to get more than a little embarrassing.
I'm doing pretty good in my classes too, despite the fact that I've been busy with other things. *whew*
HA. But I still have to go to the mandatory Hazmat class tonight. oh well. You'd think it would be easier, but no. Still boring. lol
I had today off, so after class today I went to Dollar General to get some things for Shannon's gift, then I went home and went back to bed. lol I made myself get up, went for a ride on Star, then did some yard work. Then I came in and did the dishes. I feel so accomplished. ^_^
Well, Ta. Adieu.

For those of you who like men go to my friends page or Katie MacAlister's LJ and look at her posts. Whoohooo. Is it hot in here??

For those of you who are seriously confused, I am very sorry. lol

I deleted the other entry because I just needed to start over and explain because the problem is that I didn't explain enough. I didn't give the "meat and potatos" of the situation. I just don't like to spend so much time in front of the computer anymore that I don't explain fully anymore and just rush through things in order to get off the computer because you can get on and spend HOURS in front of it and not realize it.
When I was taking Yoga, our teacher explained that he had been suffering from anxiety, and he had found the source and trigger and when you find the source and trigger, it gets better. I'm suffering from anxiety and when I said that I "couldn't enjoy" the books anymore, I ment that they made me physically nausious when I read them. It didn't mean that I just felt bored with them. I don't know if anyone who hasn't suffered from anxiety can understand that, but I just so desperately wanted to get rid of these feelings, that when Mary had said "maybe God doesn't want you to read these books anymore" (because the Holy spirit acts as a concience inside you, so I thought that this was a sign saying "this is wrong, you shouldn't be doing this." Who can REALLY say?) I took it as a sign from God and was so desperate that I didn't listen to her when she said "think and pray on this and God will tell you." I was overzealous and just went home and immediately was ready to get rid of this "source and trigger" and have my life go back to the way it was before when life was sooooo good and I was soooo happy. So I deleted the other entry because it bothers me when people think that she's brainwashed me and she's a complete phsycho. It was my fault. Chris had called me ( LOVE YOU CHRIS!!!) yesterday because he was worried about me (he missed the previous entry) and wanted to know what was going on. We talked about it, and at the end he was like "remember to follow the God, and not the person." Yeah. I know. People aren't perfect, and they make mistakes too. Its like if someone asked my advice on something, and I totally gave them the wrong solution. It sounded right at the time, but later that so totally wasn't it.
NO I didn't get rid of the books. They are in a box in my room. I think that I should take a step back from them and come back later. Chris and I discussed a lot of things that were true and meaningful. I understand where people are coming from when It seems like I just did a total 180. lol The only things that have changed in my everyday life is me trying to better myself and reading my Bible. At work I try to be nice to people that totally get on my nerves and make my life miserable. I try not to gossip. Just stuff like that. And I have learned in these last few days to stop and think and pray on things before I take such a huge step. Baby steps. Baby steps.
lol He also asked me if I got rid of my Manga. Oh HECK no. I'm not ditching everything "nonchristian" in my home. It was just the books that bothered me. lol Nikki and I are exchanging our Manga and other books, sharing our collections. I've known her for a long time, she goes to my church, we've hung out together, and we worked at Starved Rock together, but just recently we've started a closer relationship. Aside from Jerry, she's the only other friend I have around here who likes Anime. I'm so glad Pete started the youth group. I've got a group of friends now. James, Nathan, and I kinda fell apart over the fall/summer/winter/spring. I didn't have friends around here for a while (part of my depression). So now I have friends, and I am so happy. Last thursday I skipped Hazmat class and went to Nikki's birthday party and the people from youth group were there. We played attack uno after dinner. LOL that was so hilarious. Then we watched "whose line is it anyway" and "the daily show" while we talked. We basically do what my friends in Peoria and I do when we get together. Talk and joke and play games. The only difference is we get together for a short while and talk about God, pray, and watch NOOMA (its like a mini-sermon from this Pastor in Minnesota. He gives short and powerful messages to think about over the week). lol
The Gallery (youth group) on friday was cancelled because Josh was playing in his band at a Hurricane Katrina Benefit. Nikki and I were going to ride together, but we had a lack of communication, and when I got there, I found that she had left a few minutes earlier. =( Well, even though I've lifed here for so long, I still didn't know where Ladd was, let alone where the benefit was being held (just follow the sound of the music...lol). So I just went to the mall and roamed for a little while, then went home and watched some Home Improvement with mom.
This thursday we're having a going away party for Shannon. Poop. I just started getting to know her and she's so cool and she's going away. She's going to New York for a year or so to work at a Camp there. *sigh* You know how long it has been since I've had a pen pal?? She won't have internet or even a cell phone there. She'll probably get to call people, but she'll probably just call family. So we'll be doing it the old fashioned way of writing letters in ink. kinda cool. lol
Well, I hope I explained some things and just know that I'm not joining a cult or anything. Sorry I had peeps worried. Thank you for caring. *hugs* love you all.

Adieu<==From Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne, she says it everytime she leaves the scene.

Last sunday at sunday school Mary was teaching, and later she says that she didn't even plan to say anything, but for some reason she just felt she needed to. She spoke about her depression and that if anyone needed help, she would be willing to be there just like her good friend was in helping her through her depression. I tell you, I'm not one to ask for help. I just have a hard time asking for help. But I went up there, and I asked her if she would help me. So, now every week we will be getting together. It is the start of a new friendship. We don't even have to talk about my problems, we could go out to eat, bake cookies, shop...whatever. And I tell you...ever since I have felt SO. MUCH. BETTER. All I needed was a closer relationship with God. We've decided to do a bible study together. We have some things in common, its just so great. I feel so much better. I do believe it when she says that it won't all be gone over night, but already I feel so much better. I've been reading the bible every night now for a week, and I don't intend to stop. I've finally found a way to overcome this anxiety. -And it is all from reading and trusting in the WORD. I thank God, and Mary for all of this. Really its God that brought us together, but I thank Mary too for doing what God asked her to. I think all of this anxiety was because it was finally time for me to come closer to HIM. I was too far away for too long. Far too long. Thank you Lord Jesus. My savior. *tearing up in happiness*

Speaking of emotional trips, today I got a message on our answering machine from our chief. A couple fire stations were coming home from Louisiana and we were going to welcome them. I think/guess/hope that the fire departments all along 39/51 were doing the same thing at diff times as they drove home, but we made a banner saying "WELCOME HOME MABAS 25!!!" and we taped it up on the over pass, and we took out trucks and parked them on the over pass with the lights on and flashing, and when the firetrucks from the departments drove up and under us, we honked out horns, and blared our sirens, and waved and cheered. Then they threw their lights on, honked and blew their sirens, and waved back at us. It was so great. I nearly cried. I've been doing that a lot lately...

I've been going to a type of youth group on Friday nights called "The Gallery". Its for high school/college age kids, and its pretty fun. Mary's son, Peter started it at his house, and he's still looking for another place to have it, but I kinda hope he doesn't find another place. True, we may get too big for it, but right now its comfy. We talk a little about god, and watch a 10 min. video called NOOMA. Those are really good. Peter is like 23. He reminds me SO MUCH of Shaun when he's telling his funny stories. It is funny as all get-out. I miss Shaun...where's my Shaun?? Oh, Peter is also hopefully going to be voted on as our new Pastor. He's been doing our services for a couple weeks now, and he's really good. I hope he stays, because I really like him. Did I mention God is awesome??

Well, I think that is mostly all I have to report...Nikki and I have been exchanging mangas. I've been reading her W Juliet series. Its really cute. ^_^
Well, Adieu!

Thank you heavenly father, for this awesome new friendship between Mary, and I pray that this feeling never goes away.
I love you lord,
Amen.

Things have been...interesting lately, to say the least. To sum it up:

I STILL don't have a pager...so I feel disconnected somehow. I also don't have the clock on it, so I'm lost when it comes to the time and date...I suppose I should get my watches new batteries. *sluggish movement*

I got some info from work on insurance through them...If I continue to get these hours, I could afford it, but I'm so going to be scraping by. I really hope that gas doesn't go up too terribly much at the beginning of next year when I can start the insurance plan. Its great so far, it covers everything, but I pay like $15 more for Dental, and $4 something more for eye. I don't think I will have the dental, so I would be paying $80-something dollars out of each paycheck. *le sigh*

I had a talk with James in the park the other night...very disturbing. I almost vomited a couple times it disturbed me so much (also I was still feeling queasy from the movie I saw the night before bothering me...I'm going to get help with my new insurance plan) But he looked at me at one point with such fear and pleading in his eyes and said to me "I need to learn how to care again. I was hoping you would say something to help me. Teach me how to care again." That scared the shit out of me. In the end, I told him "Maybe you should just stop pretending. If you are angry, be angry. If you are sad, be sad. Just let it out. Don't smile and pretend everything is okay, because it isn't. Let it out." SO he takes out his phone, and starts calling everyone he is angry with...which was a fairly long list. I saw him yesterday and he said he felt SO much better. And to top it off, he called AMBER. His ex that has been past for like four years now, and even now when he talks about her he gets this RAGE in his voice. I told him that even if he gets together with her and just yells for the next hour, it still may help. I know that if he went to see a psychologist, the first thing they would tell him to do would be to come to terms with that. He holds-clings to that with a vengence. I feel he should let go of it. We also had a short spiritual talk, but I really was scared about what to say, so I just picked through it as best as I could. I hope I helped him...I don't like being put on the pedistal and on the spot like that, because I have serious problems myself, messed up and shit, so why ask me-ME of ALL people, for help???? *manic cackle*

AH, well, I should get ready for work. I am SOOOOO procrastinating when it comes to homework. I am such a slacker. Help. *sigh* Ta everyone.

*hugs Eeshee* I send happiness your way, hon. Hang in there, I love you. I believe anything you tell me. *Big hugs*

You're Belle! You're caring and dedicated to your
family. You're willing to give people second
chances and can always find the good in people.
You look at the inside, not outside.


Which Disney Princess Are You?
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Shyeah. Second chance. And third, and fifteenth, and 30th...Ever feel like a door mat?

You like the sweet, shy type.


What kind of guy are you most attracted to?
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Hello Hello. Classes have started. And Our class found out that we had the wrong book. The entire class. lol So already we're sort of behind. Nice. I just hope that the books come in before my financial aid expires. I'm not shelling out $105 for a book. Not to mention the fact that I don't have that to spare right now.
I've been getting more hours, and thats great. Next week is the first schedule done by the computer program we have. Most of the people aren't happy with it. I kinda hope it doesn't last long, either. Its kinda screwy, but It doesn't interfere with anything, and I have about 30+ hours now that I took Kim's 11-7 next friday. Decent. lol I just hope this continues to happen this way. I only have one day off next week, but that is only because I took Kim's shift on Friday. Only thing is, I think the Sandwich fair is next week, and I would like to go. I just don't know if it will fit in there somewhere...hmmm. Must check. I've decided that when the manager who comes to our store to help out until our trainees are ready to take over leaves, I am throwing a freakin' party. PAR-TAY. She is such a *ITCH. I haven't done anything to her, in fact-no one has, really. She just tries to find anything to bitch about. Doesn't compliment anyone on the good job they've done, just tries to find something else to pick at. Not a whole lot of people like her, so I'm sure I won't be the only one at the party. I thought we had bonded, and were good, but no. She just walks around with this constant sneer, and...well, we don't like her at all. She leaves next month. I'm wondering where to hold this party. I'm thinking at the corner cafe. We'll see.

So. About books. Has anyone read the book series by Rita Mae Brown and Sneaky Pie Brown called the Mrs. Murphy mysteries? I found them in the mystery section, and they remind me of the Cat Who books with the description on the back. I haven't read the one I have yet, but I'm looking forward to it. Just wondering...I'm trying to finish books before I start another one. Its a bad habit I've started doing. eh.

Not much else to report, though. Not stuff that is mine to tell anyway. Just been hanging out with mom a lot. Riding and watching movies. I've been trying to do homework more and here I am sitting in front of the freakin' computer. "New Years resolution: Keep New Year's resolution."

I've been hankering to just spontaniously take a trip to Peoria and go to the mall and stuff down there. But I want to have some monies to spend when I get there, so...yeah. Gotta get monies. Hence work. BLah. Yeah, I left a response on the BSB official website for the review of there Michigan concert, and that was more than a week ago, and it didn't show up! What the heck? Stupid 'puter. *sigh* Anyway, I'm going to "stop talking full stop". Ta 'n such. lol ^_~

Nothing much going on here...just work work work, and then school has started too. Yesterday was mom's birthday and the day before was my grandparents' aniversary, and we all went to the Cracker Barrel for lunch. I got mom some dark Chocolate, a pair of leather braided reins, some plastic tupperware for her lunch, and tomorrow I hope to get her some books.

Saturday was James' 21st birthday. We went to Murphy's tavern. That's where his family usually goes. It was me, James, Shane, James' sister Jackie, her boyfriend Carl, and James' parents. I got to be the driver. yay. I've decided that I really don't like to see my friends drunk. Eeshee wasn't bad, but I'm not sure if she was really as drunk as she could get, because she wasn't really that bad. lol Rachel was even better compared to James. He was actually FALLING DOWN drunk. He fell on the floor and was rolling around giggling like a five year old. That really wasn't funny to me. The way he got just wasn't funny to me. The others thought it was funny, but I didn't. I just don't like seeing my friends drunk.

I'm kinda happy about tonight. We're actually going to watch wrestling. It will be at Shane's, but I think it will be fun. James is moving in with Shane, and his rats are over there already, and Shane has two cats. lol They are so cute. I was over there laying on the floor watching James' rat in her ball, and they climbed on me and layed down. lol I was like "make yourselves at home." lol I'm hoping tonight will be fun.

So I'm happy because I'm getting a whole lot more hours, but the thing is that this next week the schedule is being done by computer, so I'm really hoping and praying that the stupid computer doesn't screw me over and I start getting crap for hours again. *sigh*

I got a new girth for Ginger, so I hope she is more comfortable when she gets saddled now, and stops nervously shifting around. I got more money because of all the hours I worked, but I barely covered everything. Its funny how you can never seem to have enough money. That was one of the most true and wise things that have been said to me. "No matter how much money you make, you'll never have enough." That has so proven to be true. Time and time again. Of course, I haven't made much, so of course it has been true. lol

Well, I'm gonna go. Not much else to report. Ta. ^_^ *HUGS*